Rose, I’d like you meet
my ex-husband, Stan Zbornak. Hello. And this is his hair. It’s a pleasure
to meet you both. Stanley, would be you be a dear
and get me some champagne? Yeah, it’s always a pleasure to get a drink
for an attractive woman. Oh. I’ll get one for you too,
Dorothy. [singing 00:00:27] Be happy! Really- From the moment that worm
slithered into your life, I knew he was no good. What kind of a man
has so little respect for the institution of marriage that he can cheat
on a wonderful woman and jump into bed with the first
available bimbo who comes along? But enough about you, Stanley. I got to go now, I’m on my way
to surprise Katherine with this. What do you think? I think Lisa Bonet spent more
on the ring in her nose. Don’t listen to her, Stanley.
It’s beautiful. I’m sure Catherine
will love it. You mean it?
Not a word. [inaudible 00:01:01],
it’s a real diamond. What’s wrong with it? I think the more appropriate
question is, where is it? Okay, the diamond’s
not very big. Okay, it’s not a real diamond.
It’s the thought that counts. Okay, I didn’t put
much thought into it. It was cheap.
I’m cheap. What can I tell you? You look fantastic. Please, please Stan, no hugging,
no kissing, let’s just do it
and get it over with. Sounds like the last few years
of our marriage. I wish it was that good. You will never guess what I
went out and bought today. It’s got whitewall tires,
original upholstery, and it’s the same one
we took to our senior prom. Stan, that’s impossible. No, Dorothy, don’t give up.
We’ll get this. Seeing Dorothy again
made me realize how superficial my relationship
with you really was. Sure, the sex was great.
Terrific, actually. But it’s okay
with Dorothy too. She never could hold her liquor. Morning. I guess you ladies didn’t
recognize me without my toupee. We think that Kate
may be pregnant. Wow. That’s incredible.
That makes me- Yeah, some things never change. We just wanted to stop by
and wish you luck in case
we don’t see you again. Before you leave.
For the hospital. Not another world.
I … Let’s not bother him any more.
Let Stan rest in peace. Where did it go wrong, Dorothy? Oh, who knows?
These things happen. Oh, I remember. I wasn’t happy
at home under the sheets. Dorothy, you’re hurting me. I mean it.
You’re really hurting me. She left me.
What? Chrissy left me
for a younger man. Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him,
Camp Snoopy? I didn’t want to say anything. What the hell?
You deserve to gloat a little. I deserve to gloat a lot.
But I can’t. I know what the pain is like,
and I wouldn’t wish it on … I don’t know how to finish that
sentence, I usually say “Stan.” My god, what are you kids
doing in there? It’s alright officer,
we’re divorced. Finally. Where have you been? I got away as soon as I could. You do have the Studebaker,
don’t you? Almost out of gas
and ready to go. If my mother found out
about this, she would kill me. Dorothy, I’m getting the feeling
that maybe you’re ashamed of me. Oh Stanley, don’t be silly.
Get down! Eat your potato. What? Oh honey. Now I know it’s a very important
vegetable to you, but I’m really stuffed. Then stick your finger in it. Stanley, please. Come on, I don’t ask much. Oh, alright. But we’re going
to get you a hobby. Something hard in here.
It’s a … It’s a …
It’s a scolding hot ring! Oh Stan, it’s beautiful.